Living in the Light and Facing Loneliness

Mark 5:1-20

January 24, 2016

Mark S. Bollwinkel

The liturgical season between Christmas and Lent is a time to focus on the person of Jesus as God's incarnation of unconditional love.  Specifically, it is an opportunity to wrestle with the implications of such love in our lives.  During this series we will look at moments in Jesus' life when God's love transforms those facing the same challenges in life that we all do.

Webster's dictionary defines "loneliness" as "cut off from others", "sad from being alone", "a feeling of desolation".

Loneliness is a common and universal experience.  Most people are probably going to have a significant experience of loneliness at some time in their lives. 

Loneliness is a feeling of social disconnectedness in which a person wishes that he or she had better social relationships.

Social science research suggests that loneliness includes feelings of self-pity (32 percent), the feeling that no one understands us (17 percent), helplessness (24 percent), a sense of being different (20 percent), boredom (14 percent), and rejection (18 percent).  (Mikluciner and Segal, 1990, psychologyandsociety.com)

Donna Swanson's moving poem, "Minnie Remembers"¹ says it all so profoundly:

How long has it been since someone touched me/ Twenty years?/ Twenty years I've been a widow./ Respected./Smiled at./But never touched./ Never held so close that loneliness/ was blotted out.

Being alone does not equal loneliness.  More of us choose to live alone than ever before.  "Aside from childless couples the most common household type in America is an adult living alone.  That’s one out of seven adults, over 30 million people...representing a 33 percent increase in the decade between 1996 and 2006."²

Loneliness is not the same thing as being alone.  We can be lonely in a crowd, in a family, in a marriage.  But when we are lonely we feel cut off from everyone around us and God.

In this Epiphany season we ponder the in-breaking of God’s light into the world, the real world of flesh and blood, fear and failure, brokenness and loneliness.  What good is all this talk of God’s love if we’re lonely?

Consider the story of Jesus and the Gerasene demoniac in our gospel lesson this morning.

Jesus and the disciples had just crossed the Sea of Galilee during which the Lord stilled a storm threatening to swamp the boat.  They landed on the eastern shore in the country of the Garasenes.  Immediately they are confronted by a man possessed by a legion of demons.  His neighbors were so afraid that he would hurt them or himself that they bound him in chains.  But to no avail.  He was so physically strong he could break the chains in pieces.  The neighbors cast him out of their community.  The man lived in the neighboring cemetery, wandering among the tombs, howling and crying out in pain, mutilating himself with stones.

The scene reminds us of the homeless men and women of our own 21st century cities possessed by addiction, poverty, mental and emotional illness.   The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs estimates that 131,000 veterans are homeless on any given night. And approximately twice that many experience homelessness over the course of a year. Conservatively, one out of every three homeless men who is sleeping in a doorway, alley or box in our cities and rural communities has put on a uniform and served this country. (National Coalition for the Homeless)

One out of every three of the homeless in our country are under the age of 18.   Six percent of homeless youth are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender who have been rejected by their families. Ten percent of homeless youth are pregnant.  Many homeless youth leave home after years of physical and sexual abuse, addiction of a family member, and parental neglect. (National Coalition for the Homeless)

Like the Garasenes as a society are we still casting those we don't know how to help out of our sight so we don't have to deal with them?

The demons within the tortured man immediately recognize who Jesus is, they cry out, "Son of the Most High God".   Note that the pious officials of the synagogue and Temple, the Pharisees and scribes did not recognize who Jesus was but demented demons could!

Matthew, Mark and Luke describe how Jesus then casts the demons into a herd of swine.   They throw themselves to their death in the water nearby.  The legion is dispatched with one word, "Go" (Matthew 8:32). The power of evil is no match for God's love. 

One would think that the neighbors would rejoice that such a miracle occurred. Just the opposite is reported.  The Garasenes are afraid.  They ask Jesus to leave as soon as possible.    It is not just that their major swine producing industry has just taken a huge hit but in the face of God's loving power our knees tremble to be sure.

It is the man liberated of the legion of demons that voices faith and hope.  He wants to climb into the boat with Jesus and the disciples.  Jesus says, "No, go home to your friends and tell your community all that God has done for you" which the former demoniac does throughout the region.

Jesus restores the demoniac to his community, breaking the chains of loneliness and isolation.   Having been freed from the bonds of his disease, the Demonic wants to help others. 

Could that be one of the keys to breaking the chains of loneliness in our own lives?  To do something good for somebody else?

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."  Nelson Mandela

Loneliness happens to everyone sometime in their lives to greater or lesser degrees.  Don't confuse it with being alone which can be a healthy thing when chosen not imposed.  Loneliness is a powerful experience.  It is a factor in the medical diagnosis "failure to thrive" for infants or the elderly.  It is the curse of those in our society who cannot find a home.

Which character in the story best describes you at this time in your life?  The one possessed by the spirits of self-pity and social isolation?  The one so frustrated with and afraid of another that the best option seems to cast them out?   The ones like the disciples that seem to be just coming along for the ride?   The liberated one that can't wait to share the good news of the redeeming possibility of God's love?

Embraced by the unconditional love of God even loneliness can be the starting point on the journey home.

Amen. 

¹Cited in Ashley Montagu, Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin, 3d ed. New York: Harper & Row, 1986, 396ff.

²Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, Eric Klinenberg, Penguin Press, 2012