Finding the Balance 

Luke 10:38-42 

July 17, 2016 

Mark S. Bollwinkel

            Our text this morning describes two special women.

            Mary and Martha welcome Jesus into their home.  All of those traveling with the Master were assumed to be invited as well, so there is quite a lot of work to do.  Martha is overwhelmed with the kitchen chores.  She complains to Jesus that her sister should help her.  The Lord answers that it is Mary who has her priorities straight.  She has chosen to hear the Word of God.

            Mary and Martha appear in John’s gospel as well.  The two women are described as the sisters of Lazarus, one of Jesus’ dearest friends.  They live in the village of Bethany outside of Jerusalem (John 11:1, 12:1-3).

            A similar pattern of behavior about these two characters is found in both stories. Martha goes out to meet Jesus when her brother dies, while Mary sits at home (John 11:20.  Martha serves a meal for Jesus upon his arrival in Bethany, while Mary anoints Jesus’ feet with costly oil (John 12:1-3).   In Luke, Martha cooks and serves while Mary sits at the feet of her Rabbi to listen.

            Preachers have traditionally used Mary and Martha as examples of either “good” or “bad” discipleship.  Martha is “service”. Mary is “nurture”.  Martha wants to earn grace.  Mary simply receives it.  Mary is lazy.  Martha is committed.  We have all heard these interpretations before.

            If a church is in need of volunteers for a clean-up day, or a stewardship drive, or the Sunday school, we’ll hear Martha venerated for her work ethic and devotion.  If attendance is down at church, or a new Bible study is being formed, we’ll hear Mary honored for sitting at the feet of the Lord.

            But there is much more the story than meets the eye.

            Consider the historical context in which the story is written.

            In first century Palestine, men and women had distinctly separate roles.  Men would not even converse with women outside of their own family.  For Jesus to accept the hospitality of an unmarried woman like Martha was scandalous.  Trying to justify this oddity and their own traditions of polygamy, our Mormon friends suggest that Jesus must have been married to Mary and Martha to explain this strange intimacy.  (Protestants don’t believe this.)

            Only men were allowed to study the Torah and learn from a Rabbi.  For Jesus to insist that Mary had a right to sit at his feet while he taught was unheard-of.  “Jesus treated women and men as equally capable and worthy of dealing with sacred matter…in a time when…women were viewed as both dangerous and inferior” (Marcus Borg, Jesus a New Vision, Harper Collins, 1987).

            This radically transformed view of gender continued in the early church after Jesus’ death, where Paul would write in Galatians, “There is neither Jew nor gentile, slave nor free, male nor female, but you are all one in Christ Jesus” (3:28).

            How the Roman Catholic Church can continue today to exclude and restrict women from certain offices of the ministry is beyond me.  How some Protestant churches, even some United Methodist congregations, refuse to consider hiring female pastors simply because of their gender is a mystery to me.

            A seminary colleague of mine was once asked to fill-in for a vacationing pastor.  Following her first sermon at the local church, she was out by the sanctuary doors greeting people.  A well meaning and sincere saint approached her, shook her hand enthusiastically and told her, “I am so excited.  When men are no longer fit for the pulpit and women have to become preachers, it must mean that the world is about to end and Jesus is returning soon!”

            It is not the end of the world for women to take more and more roles of leadership in our society.  It is a change, yes indeed, but it is a change we need.  Across the country during the last ten days, United Methodists have been electing new Bishops, 15 in all; 7 are women, 5 are African-American and 2 are Hispanic.  I am proud of our United Methodist commitment to ethnic and gender diversity in our leadership!

            In the story of Mary and Martha we not only hear about qualities of discipleship…hard work vs. contemplation…we also hear about the radical equality with which Jesus saw men and women.  He broke through the barriers of his society’s prejudice and pointed in a new direction even though such boundary breaking came at a great cost to him.

            Contemporary men and women, who break the boundaries of gender expectations find themselves paying a precious price too.

            Golda Meir was the Prime Minister of Israel for a number of years when she wrote, “At work, you think of the children you have left at home.  At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished.  Such a struggle is unleashed within you.  Your heart is rent.”

            Forty percent of our nation’s families are headed by single parents, most often women (Pew Research Center, 5.29.13). Over half of American women work outside of the home.  Those women who do stay at home to raise their kids rarely have time to sit and listen to anything!  Whether it is a two income household or a home in which a parent stays home with the kids, our families face great stress and busyness.

            Ours is the generation that has spawned the “Tiger Mom” (Amy Chua, 2011).  She’s a well-educated woman, working in or outside the home, committed to family, husband and personal growth, who spends hours each week rushing from the kid’s activities, to volunteer opportunities, to exercise classes, to the store, to school participation, to church involvement, back to home to do chores and cooking only to dash out to another evening meeting or class or children’s program before crashing into bed at midnight.

            There are plenty of “Super Dads” around too, who fit in professional pressures while fully committed to children, wife, community and over achievement as well. 

            Since World War II many important social barriers to women have been broken and for good reason.  Many more still remain.  Yet the inclusion of women in the workplace on a scale never seen before in our country has come at a real price of stress and pressure for many.

            God help us to somehow find the balance. 

            We are not to pick out our faith ideal between Mary or Martha.  We are called to follow both of their examples.  Jesus called for both an active engagement with human needs and contemplation.  Both examples of faith are to be emulated.  Our burden is to discern when and where to find the balance between the two worlds of service and nurture.

            It is easy to spot when we are out of balance.

            Watch for resentment.

            If you find yourself resenting your spouse’s priorities, or your friends’ jobs, or your kids’ demands, chances are something is out of balance.

            It is especially true in the church.

            Churches live or die by the investment of time and talent by volunteers.  It is easy for the committed church volunteer to enthusiastically sign up for a church office, excited that they have found a new opportunity to serve God and their brothers and sisters in the faith.  When that church volunteer job begins to compete with all the other demands of our busy lifestyle, frustration can creep in.  When the realities of the bills that a church has to pay with meager income or the lack of other volunteers to help becomes apparent, discouragement can arise.

            It is a standard rule of thumb that 20% of a church’s members do 80% of the volunteer work.  20% of the church’s members give 80% of the money as well.  New volunteers will often express resentment that others aren’t also involved in what they care so deeply about.

            As soon as we feel that resentment, it is a good time to stop and reconsider what we are doing in our church and why.  As important as it is to a Pastor that a volunteer say “yes”, their “no” is just as important.  Church involvement should not result in bitterness or anger.  Some feel that way because they aren’t asked to do a certain job.  Some because they are asked to do too much.  Either way, burnout or neglect, if you feel resentful about your church involvement it is time to take a step back and reconsider your priorities.  It is also time to have a talk with your Pastor.  At least, that is what Martha did when she found her service to others overwhelming her ability to respond.

            It is easy to feel all alone in the world.  Especially when we are conscientious and committed.  We work hard.  We do our best.  We try to make it right for those around us and at times it is exhausting and tough.

            For men or women, it is easy to feel we are the only ones keeping the family going with all the economic and activity stress we experience today.  It is easy to feel anger toward those who ignore our needs while they get their own met.

            Martha comes to Jesus saying, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve along?  Tell her then to help me.”

            Of course, Jesus cared about her.  When he heard the news about her brother’s death he dropped all of his plans and rushed to be by her side.  But she had let the frustrations and resentment build up so great in her busyness that she forgot who she was cooking for…the Son of God, the Savior of the world.  She had begun to think it was all up to her.  Jesus gently reminds her that only “one thing is needful”…”We do not live by bread alone but by hearing the words that proceed from the mouth of the Lord” (Deut 8:3, Luke 4:4, John 6:27).           

It’s true for men and women.  Make time to sit and listen and learn about God’s love for you.  Let your service to God come from a cup that is full, not empty.  Take as much time to heal and be nurtured as you take time to give.

            Our text this morning describes the lives of two special women but it speaks to us all.  All of us who are active and committed and sincere.

            You are not alone. 

It is not all up to you. 

Do your part. 

With all of your gifts. 

But do your part only.  It is God who is saving the world, not you or me.  We are simply called to join in.

            We are simply called to find the balance.

            Amen.