Plan B
Acts 2:1-21
May 24, 2015
Rev. Dr. Mark and Bonnie Bollwinkel
Mark: Bonnie, I’ve got the perfect plan for our retirement. We buy a little house where I can do pottery
and preach on Sundays. You can continue
your work with the Alzheimer’s Association.
We’ll live close to our boys, who’ll have grandchildren for us by
then. When we are in our 90’s, active
and alert, one night - after we’ve cleaned the house, paid all the bills,
folded the laundry, and emptied the garbage; our wills and advanced directives will
be all up to date and the tank of our car full of gas - we’ll die a natural,
painless and simultaneous death together in each other’s arms during sleep
dressed in clothes that won’t embarrass the paramedics and family that find us.
Bonnie: Well, Mark, let’s talk about “Plan B”…just in
case “Plan A” doesn’t work out. We have
long term care insurance, which is good, but what if something happens to one
of us? The market could tank again and
our retirement funds disappear. Even if
we were in the best of physical condition, which we are not, there are
physical limitations and illnesses that are much more likely as we grow older;
there is no getting away from that. Our
bodies wear out! Remember the old
Arabic saying, “Humans make plans and God laughs”? You and I both know that life is full of
capricious surprises and that for some of us our denial about that just grows
as we get older.
Mark: As important as it is to be realistic and forward thinking most
folk can plan on living independently and quite actively until the end. ”…the elderly are the fastest growing segment
of the modern population…evidence also tells us that the decrepitude and
incapacitation that come with age are, on average, only about the last three
months of life. Even then, studies
assure us, mental clarity is more likely than not to remain to the end.” (The Gift of Years: Growing Old Gracefully,
Joan Chittister, Bluebridge, 2008, P.14)
Bonnie: That’s why our real plan for aging, Mark,
should be to become “resilient elders”.
Remember Polly Victor, with whom I worked on my Master’s thesis? A social worker for most of her life, working
with people of all ages and needs. When
she stopped working as a social worker she became an artist, sculpting and
welding art from broken down pieces of farm machinery. She had grown up on a farm. She went back to
art school and was not deterred for a moment when the teacher suggested she was
“too old” to take up welding. She went
out and found a professional welder who taught her what she needed to know and
welded sculpture for the next twenty years.
She told me that this was how she felt about her work; that she worked
with broken down people and helped them become pieces of art. In my eyes, a resilient elder is one who
never loses the spirit for life and love.
Mark: You are reminding me of the apostle Peter in the Pentecost story
this morning, Bonnie.
Here is Simon Peter, one of the
first to respond to Jesus’ invitation to discipleship. He was one of the first to say out loud that
Jesus is the Christ. He was the one who
betrayed his master when he needed him the most. He was the one who ran away back to Galilee
rather than face the cross.
Yet on Pentecost, the spirit
sweeps the disciples out of their fear and hiding. They go into the streets of Jerusalem
proclaiming the good news in languages unknown to them. It will be Peter who
gives the first sermon in the church’s history.
Peter proclaims to the crowd gathered in amazement that he and his
brothers are not drunk on wine but full of the spirit of God. Not all will listen and believe in Peter’s
proclamation. Not all will believe that
Jesus is the long waited messiah. But
that very day 3,000 are baptized and the church is born.
Not bad for a fisherman who tried
to walk on water only to sink beneath the waves. That sure would have taken away my spirit!
At the end of John’s gospel we
find Jesus cooking breakfast for Peter and a handful of disciples. They haul in a miraculous catch of fish in
their nets. Jesus says to Peter three
times, “feed my sheep”. And we hear these
words foretelling that in his old age Peter will die a martyr’s death, and in
fact he will.
“Simon, son of
John, do you love me? And he said to
him, “Lord you know everything. You know that I love you. Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, I say to you, when you were young, you
girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will
stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do
not wish to go.” (This he said to show
by what death he was to glorify God.)
And after this he said to him, “Follow me.” (John 21:17-19)
Peter’s “retirement years” were
his best. He finally found God’s true
spirit within. He found his true voice
and he grew closer to God and his neighbors each and everyday.
Bonnie: So...are you suggesting that we should all
aim to die a martyr’s death, Mark!!??
(to the congregation) - Now you
know what its like to live with a preacher!
Mark: No, Bonnie what I am suggesting is that with Pentecost spirit the
elder year’s are not a death sentence but a life sentence.
Bonnie: Now that is
true! Chittister also writes:
…the last phase
of life is not non-life; it is a new stage of life…there is no such thing as
having only one life to live…every life is simply a series of lives, each one
of them with its own task, its own flavor, its own brand of errors, its own
type of sins, its own glories, ….designed to lead us to the same end, happiness
and a sense of fulfillment. (Chittister, pp. xi-xii)
“The task of
this period of life…is not simply to endure the coming of the end of time. It is to come alive in ways I have never been
alive before.” (Chittister, p. xv)
“This is the time of coming home to
the self.” (Chittister, p. 10)
Our culture so often dismisses
the elder years of life as insignificant. But this is a lie. I don’t understand why so many people believe
it!
Mark: This is what is so compelling about the mission of programs such
as the Carmel Foundation. This is why this
church can become a significant resource for aging. It’s a community where we can all grow,
learn and shine no matter our age.
Bonnie: It is not uncommon in my work to run into
folk who have denied the process of aging all along. As an example, how many of you have planned
for the day you will stop driving? Don’t
raise your hands!
I remember Otto when I worked as
an outreach worker on skid row in Sacramento.
I found Otto in the single residency hotel. I was warned that he would hit me if I got too
close to him. He was laying in his
bed. There was an open package of sweet
rolls on the bed with cockroaches crawling all over it. To make a long story short, I was able to
connect with Otto to the point where I could ask him, “If you ever got old, and
couldn’t take care of yourself any more, what would you do?” He quickly answered, which surprised
me. That he would go to an old soldiers’
home. He was 86 years old when I asked
him that question. He had lost his
veteran’s benefits because he had lost his glasses and could not read his
mail. I was able to get his benefits
reinstated and move him to Yountville VA home where he was able to live in
dignity for his last four years.
When I grow up I want to be a resilient elder! Like so many of the resilient elders we have met along the way, like so many of them here at Church of the Wayfarer. I love these defining words from Mary Pipher, Ph.D:
The
resilient old have discovered independently the same truths that acceptance is
the key to serenity, and gratitude is the key to happiness.
The resilient old
have reasonable expectations. They have learned
to tolerate frustrations and limitations.
The resilient old assume
responsibility for their own choices…and they don’t have a lot of expectations
for how others behave.
The resilient old have chosen to
respond with compassion rather than anger and despair.
The resilient old have strong
spiritual beliefs. They believe in
something larger and more transcendent than their own egos.
The resilient old…want to be loved,
respected and useful. They want to have
fun, and develop their talents. The
resilient old have relationships, ways to be useful in their communities, ways
to relax, ways to develop their potential and ways to feel respected. (Another Country: Navigating the Emotional
Terrain of our Elders, Mary Pipher, Ph. D., Riverhead, 1999, pp. 244-246)
Mark: On this
Pentecost Sunday we think about an aging Peter who along with Paul and the
other apostles ended up leading a movement that changed and continues to change
the world. The spirit doesn’t stop
working on us when we hit 65! In fact,
aging can be the start of many new beginnings.
Bonnie: We don’t have
to wait to start Plan B. We can start
now by changing our attitude about out own aging. Aging is a part of God’s plan for us and we
can accept it, take responsibility for our part in it and thrive together in
God’s love.
Amen.
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