Monday, February 23, 2015


Final Words: "Father, Forgive Them...."

Luke 23:26, 33-34a
 
February 22, 2015

Mark S. Bollwinkel

 
While dying on the cross Jesus says, "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."  

The "them" certainly includes the Roman guards who were crucifying him and gambling for his garments.   Adam Hamilton in our Lenten study book Final Words from the Cross (Abingdon 2013) extends Jesus' intention to include the Temple authorities who orchestrated Jesus' arrest and trial, the crowds who are mocking him and Roman governor Pontus Pilate who condemned him although finding him innocent.   Hamilton also concludes that the "them" includes us, in fact, every human being who has ever lived.
 
"Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."

It is a prayer actually.  Seems like prayer and forgiveness go hand-in-hand.    Jesus teaches:

 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemies', but I say to you, 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you'..." (Matthew 5:43-44)
 

"...one of the disciples said to Jesus, 'Lord, teach us to pray...Jesus said, 'When you pray say this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name....forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..." (Luke 11:1-4)
 

When it comes to forgiveness we need all the prayer we can get.

I would imagine that there is not a person in this room who has not been hurt by someone else during their lifetime, short or long.   If you've escaped betrayal, abuse, insult or heated conflict, consider yourself blessed.  Hurt and disappointment seem a common lot in human life. It is not hard to imagine that we have survivors of violence, assault or even murder in this congregation.  Platitudes about forgiveness may seem empty indeed for those whose lives have been violated by evil deeds.  

My hunch would be that there might be a few here this morning as well who have been, at one-time-or-another, on the giving side of the equation.  If you have lived a regret-free life consider yourself blessed.  As for me, I know that I have had plenty of opportunities to beg forgiveness for mistakes made, promises broken and feelings hurt.   I have fallen short of the glory of God and I am standing in the need of prayer.

There is nothing simple about forgiveness.  It is no wonder then that we invoke God's presence when we face with it.  We need all the help we can get to forgive, including divine.  Even Jesus did.
 
This Lenten season we will consider the last words spoken by Jesus on the on the day of his death.   Lent is the forty day season, not counting Sundays, of the church year when we remember Jesus’ forty days of temptation and testing in the desert in preparation for his ministry.  As we prepare ourselves for Palm Sunday, Holy Week and Easter we will consider the last words in the drama of the cross as they relate to our own spiritual journey.  Forgiveness is a huge part of that journey toward spiritual wholeness.

In 1979, at the age of 13, Matthew Boger was kicked out of his Newark, California home when he told his mother that he was gay.*  He survived by living on the streets eventually ending up in Los Angeles.  A year later in West Hollywood, Matthew was nearly beaten to death by a group of neo-Nazi skinheads in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant.  Tim Zaal gave the final kick to Matthew's forehead with his boot.  The skinheads all thought that they had killed Matthew as they drove back the suburbs.

But he survived, with scars still visible on his face from that night.  By 2006 he had escaped life on the streets and was working as a manager of the Simon Wiesenthal Center's Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles. 

During those same years, Tim Zaal had renounced his involvement in hate groups and the white supremacy movement.  He had become a computer programmer and started a family with a Jewish wife.  He volunteered his free time in an anti-hate task force, speaking to student groups about his past and personal/political transformation.

At one such talk at the Museum of Tolerance, Matthew and Tim struck up a conversation and discovered that they had met years before in that terrible night of violence.   Last year's Oscar nominated Documentary "Facing Fears" detailed how over the years these two very different men have become friends.  They consider each other members of each other's families.

Filmmaker and producer Jason Cohen insisted that the story not be simply about Matthew's forgiving Tim, but the journey that Tim had to make to forgive himself.   As a filmmaker Cohen wanted "to make viewers question their own capacity for change and for finding the humanity in one's adversaries." (Zack)

Both men had to face their fears in order to find forgiveness.  For Matthew he had to risk complete vulnerability as he related to the man who almost killed him.  For Tim he had to face the fear of the peer rejection that drove him to almost kill another human being rather than being seen as "weak".

Jesus had to face his fears as well.  Alone in prayer in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus certainly faced his fears before his arrest and trial, "Father, if it is possible let this cup pass from me; yet not my will but yours be done." (Mt 26:39-46, Mk 14:36-42, Lk 22:42-46)

"Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."

Jesus said this to the soldiers and officials and crowds as they were crucifying him on the cross.  Who among us could forgive at such a moment?   Yet because he did, after he had breathed his last, one of the centurions he forgave says "Truly, this was the son of God." (Mt. 27:54, Mk 15:39, Lk 23:47)

Think for a moment about your favorite grudge…at home…at work…within your family.  Think for a moment about that one who has slighted you, or hurt you, maybe as a child, or a spouse or a parent.  Hold it in your mind just for a moment, that anger and resentment you still carry after all these weeks and months and years.   Hold it there and then consider this:

Forgiveness does not begin when we naively pretend that everything is all right.  Just the opposite.  It begins when we see things as they really are and find the courage to speak the truth.

Forgiveness is about letting go of the hatred, pain and guilt we carry for another.  It is not denying, or excusing or hiding it.  We can only “let go” when we have told the truth to the other, and to ourselves.

Our neighbor, child, boss or spouse may have indeed done a great harm.  There is no excuse for that.  Restitution should be paid.  We may want to get even, take revenge, and feel the joy of righteous vengeance.  Such feelings will only eat us up!

It is we who end up paying a terrible price for refusing to forgive.  Refusing to forgive hurts our relationships, our spirits and our health.
 

Forgiveness isn't an easy thing...it's hard to love people, but harder not to have them to love...if you've got someone in your life who caused you some pain, consider forgiveness. Because if you haven't, the pain is still there. And that kind of pain can do major damage to your thoughts, and to the ease with which you breathe. Don't wait for the, "I'm sorry." Just forgive. The way spring does winter. It simply lets it go, moves forward, blooms.  (Garrison Keillor, “A View from Mrs. Sundberg’s Window”, Prairie Home Companion, May 18, 2013)

 
Forgiveness is a huge part of the journey to spiritual wholeness.  Adam Hamilton suggests that "to live authentic lives, to be fully human we have to learn to forgive."  For us who follow Jesus, we learn that from him.

If God can forgive those who are carrying out his son's death sentence and those who created it, how much more will God forgive us?
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we are saved by hope.
 

Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore, we are saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own; therefore, we are saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness. 

 
(Reinhold Niebuhr, The Irony of American History, Charles Scribners Sons, 1952)

        

*          "Oscar-nominated 'Facing Fear" show hearts can change", Jessica Zack, SFGate.com
            2/22/14

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